Hah. The disease plushies from thinkgeek.

Many years ago I got my SO herpes for Valentine's Day. Funny joke. Everyone laughs. Roll on snare drum

They had these STD plushies at a store my family visited several years ago. My sister and I were checking them out, so I picked one up, read the tag, and told her "I got The Clap." I assumed that she'd read the plushie she had picked up, tell me which one it was, we'd have a chuckle, and find something else to look at.

Apparently she hadn't yet figured out that they were STD plushies, and thought I had chosen that moment to tell her in confidence about an STD I had contracted. It was pretty awkward, but it was at least nice to know that she'd have brought me to the doctor in secret if I'd needed her to!

I have syphilis on my shaft. The shaft of my torchiere lamp.

Also covid-19 hanging out on our projector screen. ^_^

Ok ok. And what??

I gave my sister food poisoning.