Just switched from Reddit FYI

Until I went off to college in the city, I lived in a pretty dangerous hood in Baltimore with my single mom who had multiple jobs as a waitress, and a stripper at night (also provided escort services to some of her customers, and I slept in the bathtub when she did :/ ). When I was around 15, I cleaned windows & did yard work for a lot of my mom’s customers/clients to help with expenses. I could tell my mom hated her jobs, but she did what she had to, to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. We stayed in a tiny one bedroom apartment, and my mom would come home at 3-4 am every night. Dad went to prison when I was young for assault, and I grew up around a lot of violence/drugs in general. Now I make okay money and I’ve brought my mom to the safer side of the city, but honestly I wouldn’t be where I am now without her hard work.

all 30 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 27 points 1 year ago

Congrats on playing “life” in hard mode and getting ahead. And props to your mom.

Two questions:

  1. Do you have a relationship with your dad?
  2. How did you stay out of the drugs/violence growing up?
  • source
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    I've studied college transition professionally and am curious about your case, how was your route to college? You don't have to give specific locations and stuff, of course, but was it through a 2 year or a 4 year with scholarship, etc?

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] [S] 7 points 1 year ago (5 children)
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Any advice on that front for others who might need it?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] [S] 12 points 1 year ago* (3 children)

    I think schools are much more competitive now, but I would say being able to tell your story through your essays matter so much especially if you weren’t able to attain good grades bc of certain circumstances. And if I remember correctly, colleges take into account your stats in the context of your high school.

    If that doesn’t answer your question lmk

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

    That sounds about right, and yeah, many schools (especially now...) will look at top performers in a given school, especially if it's underserved as a way to diversity without being explicit. Like, if you only could take 2 AP courses, they won't expect 10 and give you more credit got them.

    I mostly asked since I myself had to go through 2yr, but unlike you, I didn't really do very well in high school (just, very angry teen due to abuse). It's good to share in any case, I found on Lemmy there's a lot of smart people with bad circumstances who read this stuff and the essay advice is spot on.

    Good work making the most of everything!

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] [S] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Thank you! Honestly I think I just had no friends and too much time alone since my mom was usually working, so all I could do was study lol. But grades are definitely not indicative of anything tbh, some of the smartest people I knew were failing their classes.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Other than the bad Baltimore accents, would you say The Wire reasonably portrayed life on the streets in Baltimore?

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    If you could go back in time to visit your mom in her most difficult moment raising you, what would you say to her?

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] [S] 9 points 1 year ago

    Given the situation I think she did best she could but I definitely would have told her to prioritize herself sometimes. She was constantly working to provide for me and she never really took time for herself to relax.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    What's a moment or event in your past where the community came together or helped a situation? alternatively, besides your mother, who is one person from your past community you would like to highlight that also helped you become the person you are today?

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] [S] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)
    1. I remember this girl got killed in a crossfire, and everyone in the community showed up to her family’s house and left flowers.

    2. Honestly i didn’t have any great friends in school and my mom was the only one who was consistently there for me, so i dont think there was anybody else which might be surprising.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • Good for you. Baltimore hoods are no joke.

  • source
  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Growing up without a father, do you plan to take any steps to alleviate that burden with other kids doing the same nowadays?

    I ask because I grew up the same way, and although I'm not in a position that I can right now. I'd like to be.

    How would you take advantage of what you've learned and know and tackle that, even if it's not something you want to pursue.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] [S] 7 points 1 year ago*

    This is something I’ve thought about for sure. Honestly I’m still not completely stable but once I am I will definitely try to.

    Side tangent sorta: I feel like my father being out of my life was much better than if he was still in my life. It’s one thing to have a father, and it’s another thing to have a good father.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    How did you survive (as in, your character and soul) in the hood compared to your peers? Like, not get sucked in the mentality?

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] [S] 7 points 1 year ago

    I think a lot of people wanted the quick and easy route to making money which led to a lot of dangerous activity. But since I was around 10ish, I always kinda just kept my head down and just payed attention in class. I was alone at our apartment alot so I had a lot of time on my hands to just study/find my interests. I was pretty bad socially so I never really made friends, my only friend throughout my childhood was my momma 😂. I guess it kinda kept me out of bad circles I dunno.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    Welcome here

    !newtolemmy@lemmy.ca can help you

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    What advice would you give your younger self?

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Have you ever traveled below the Mason Dixon line and what was your experience as Yankee?

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    Baltimore is south of the Mason-Dixon line. Mason and Dixon surveyed the border between Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Delaware.

    In the mid-19th century, Maryland was a slave state but did not secede and join the Confederacy. Enslaved Marylanders were, thus, not freed by the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863, since that only targeted seceding states under Union Army occupation. Slavery in Maryland ended in 1864 with the adoption of a new state constitution.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Welcome to Lemmy! :)

  • source