“I fits, I sits. Put your stinky, stupid human feet somewhere else. Like outside. And stay outside. Except to feed me and clean my litter box. Then go back outside.”

Buy a cat bed if you want a foot rest. You know they won't use the thing made for them.

That's not a bed, that's a throne!

In the cat's defense, it does look like a raised cat bed... It's also exactly the type of thing my cats would go for (I had to buy a raised cat bed for one of them so I could get my desk chair back).

Use cat... As footrest?

It's over, they have the high ground!

Throne. Cat-Throne.