I tried the "extra thai hot" in my tom kha once. I finished it because tom kha is fuckin delicious and it wasn't the cheap stuff, but I had regrets. The heat was definitely in the carolina reaper range.

A lot of the places here add “Indian spicy” as an additional option after “Very Spicy”

I sometimes ask if something is spicy or “gringo spicy”.

20ish years ago, I stopped at an Indian place in Winnipeg. Everything labeled "spicy" was anything but.

Conversely during that same road trip, I hit a small Thai place in central Minnesota and asked for their "Thai spicy" option on whatever dish I ordered. The woman tried to warn me, but I didn't care. I should have. But it was delicious.

I usually see it the other way where there is "mild, medium, hot, hot". And when I ordered the hottest, there is a 75% chance they give me some medium spiced bullshit because I am super white.