My dog helps with the last bit. I haven’t found a solution to the former though.

Cuddling

I've always wondered what a croissant under the covers tastes likes.
Probably quite semen-ey

Now that's some bedroom hijinx I can fully appreciate.

What is the will to live, I don't understand

Going to take a one-way to Sumatra or whatever soon. Going to stand in a tide pool until I get bitten by one of those blue octopuses or whatever

i read "in the bathroom" for some reason and was really confused xD