Oh agreed,

We could roll a d20 with only 20 being the passing mark, everything else fails; which gives a 5% success chance... and that still seems optimistic when describing a relationship with America.

Basically, Aus, Canada, UK and every other American "allied" nation should have a magic 8 ball that only returns with "yeah you're fucked" when asked anything about the relationship with America, it's not a question of if, it's a question of when.