^This^ ^is^ ^a^ ^joke,^ ^I^ ^didn't^ ^really^ ^lock^ ^myself^ ^out^
Most data centers have some kind of service where you can request a KVM to be connected to the server. It's not instant as an actual human has to do so but a lot sooner than another human driving long distance. I guess in this case, it's a mid size company that is big enough to have multiple locations yet small enough to still manage to use on-premise infra instead of data centers.