“I know a lot of you are worried that these surveillance cameras are from that horrible company Flock that helped ICE hunt, kidnap and kill so many in broad daylight this year—well, they’re not, so don’t worry,” said Mayor Wilson. “These cameras that help ICE and the IDF hunt, kidnap and kill innocent people are from a way more successfully evil $25 billion corporation called Axon that literally designed their Seattle office to look like the inside of the Death Star—Geekwire did a whole photo feature on it, check it out! Pretty cool, fun stuff if you’re a white, rich and privileged enough bootlicker to not be scared by any of it. So, yeah, don’t worry – the cameras aren’t from Flock, they’re from a totally different company that will terrify and enrage you just as much if not more if you read up on them even the tiniest bit.”

Unlike Flock, Mayor Wilson emphasized that Seattle’s new surveillance cameras are from a company that President Trump bought $5 million in stocks from before being awarded hundreds of millions in ICE and Border Patrol contracts.

“If you were worried that these cameras would be owned and operated by Flock, relax – they’re actually owned and operated by a company that’s most likely even more corrupt,” Mayor Wilson said. “So if you seen any crazy online commenters blathering on about how the only difference between Flock and Axon is that the latter might be an even bigger threat to public safety and privacy, don’t worry, they’re 100% correct.”