I do it to a certain amount cos I have to in order to do ok at work etc.

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[–] 15 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I haven't told many people at work about being autistic. I think my boss and only a few other people really know. Normally, as my work rarely includes human interactions, I don't have many problems; most of the human contact is with few people and they understood a while ago that I don't have so-called filters when it comes to certain things, so they learnt to accept my straightforward mind when I speak about anything without even considering that I'm ND.

However, today I'm about to make my autism an everyone's problem.

I've been invited to the typical "department christmas dinner" (mandatory fun! yay!). I tried to politely refuse saying that I don't like the proposed menu of the restaurant and that I don't feel like going because I don't like these events. They've been insisting in making me go because they can't accept a polite "no" as an answer. Well, I'm about to do a coming out and make everyone uncomfortable about why I'm not going explaining that my autism makes being among many people in a loud and flashy environment really difficult for me and the fixed menu they chose include things that would make me puke if I tried to eat them. Can't wait to make them feel embarrassed for not having accepted my answer when I politely declined to go.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 day ago

    Yeah I get where you're coming from. I think you still have an option to say no and define your boundaries a little more clearly without it being a huge deal, if thats something you want to consider.

    I think the question to ask is: "Am I expected to enjoy this Christams party if I go? Because those kinds of events are really not my cup of tea."

    Give them a strike two before you give them a taste.

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  • [–] 2 points 20 hours ago

    No is a complete sentence, you can just say no and not go. They’ll likely not feel embarrassed, justifying whatever they said as reasonable and assume you making “a big deal” out of it is because you’re autistic. They’d likely be very understanding if you told them, but calmly that it wasn’t for you because you were neurodivergent but as soon as you make a big grand stand out of it they’ll go on the defensive and treat you like an attention seeking weirdo and probably find it cringe. People don’t care about the reality others experience, if they feel defensive they’ll always be working against you

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  • [–] 0 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    How mature to ruin everyone's Christmas dinner because they wanted to spend time with you. That's like the most stereotypical teenager move. You could just pretend you're sick and not go or ask hr for accommodations beforehand.

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  • The poor neurotypical, who is apparently better than me at reading between the lines can't accept a "No, I don't feel like coming" as an answer and needs to keep bothering me about it and making me feel guilty can't get their feelings hurt. Poor thing.

    Meanwhile, fuck me for not wanting to tell them "I don't feel well in crowds because they are noisy and drain my already poor social battery so I end up being a bother to everyone because when I turn off for overstimulation everyone gets worried" and make them feel guilty for the last time this actually happened, right?

    Well, NO. At a point in my life I started worrying about MY feelings too. I will say no in a polite and assertive way, and if you won't accept it, then it will be your problem and you will regret pressing for a week about the matter. I couldn't care less about your NT feelings if you don't care about mine. And if I ruin your christmas mood, live with it.

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