I also don’t agree that “getting over it” and “forgiving” are the same thing
That's the problem. Your definition doesn't work for me, and you're forcing your own concepts onto others, even as you're spending a great many words trying to convince me of -- what, exactly? I clarified what I meant, and you are free to take it or leave it, but you only muddied your own. Where are you going with all this? You seem very deeply concerned. Why is that?
For myself, in the world of forgiveness, it is not up to anyone but the harmed to decide the type and level of harm, and what forgiveness means to them. As much as you clearly want to, you don't get to decide any of that for either me or him, or frankly anyone but yourself.
If your definitions work for you, great! But they don't really seem to be bringing you much peace. And you seem almost desperate to somehow prove my lived experience wrong to me directly with mere philosophical argument. Why is that? Do you know what motivates your response, and produced this confused, driven thing you wrote?
But those answers are not for me, they are for you. I already have mine, I worked for them, and I would not go back to that tangled, worried, overwrought mess you're currently in (and I have been in) for all the world. Now I'm going to forgive -- deeply let your offense go -- and forget you both, while I have a great evening and you sit and overthink the whole thing.