Do you not have any hobbies that you might want to spend a bit more on if you could? Maybe as a reward for surviving something particularly grueling? That's what it is for me, and for you to call me crazy as a result would be pretty insulting if it wasn't coming from some random on the internet.

Niche hobby people are just weird like that. Ever seen the Coffee community?
Not something many people like us can afford but there are cases where it's justified.