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Even worse in my book is Moses and the plagues.

Like, WTF God? Pharaoh is the absolute ruler of Egypt. His word is law. This is a man that can and regularly does have people executed with a single word. That's the level of authority Pharaoh has.

And yet, who does God choose to take out his wrath on? The completely innocent and powerless civilian population of Egypt! People with absolutely zero say in how their government is run. THEY are the ones who have to pay the price for Pharaoh's pride. Why the fuck isn't Pharaoh the one paying that price? He's the evil bastard running the whole place.

Want me to free the enslaved Israelites? I can do so with far less effort and far fewer casualties. Here's what my Moses's speech to Pharaoh looks like:

Sorry about this, but I'm here to deliver a message. God says to let his people go. If you don't, you will suffer an increasing number of injuries and sicknesses until you die. The first week you'll have a cold. The next week you'll have the flu. The next week you'll break your legs. The week after that your arms. Finally forty days from now you'll just have a heart attack and die. The same series of events will happen to your successor, and any further successors until you agree to God's terms. Please don't take this out on me. I'm just a messenger. God said he would kill me too if I didn't deliver the message. I didn't believe him at first either; that's why my legs are in casts.

There. Why is that so hard? One man holds all the power. THAT is the man you should be punishing. Give him some chances, change is hard, sure. But ultimately he's the one responsible. I don't know how many Pharaoh's we'll have to burst before the Israelites are free, but I can't imagine it would be more than a half dozen. And the only ones that need to suffer and die are the ones refusing to release the slaves! (Though I suppose in this version Moses is sick for a few weeks and had to break his legs.)

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