Woke up yesterday morning at sparrows fart (technically we got up at like 7:30 but for a weekend that's practically pre-sunrise) to go to an event called Plantapalooza at the Rocklea markets.

Like a collective of naive dickheads, we'd assumed that an event called Plantapalooza would contain a significant amount of plants.

Like if it was just a fair amount of plants, it might be a Plant Fair. And if there was heaps of plants, maybe you'd call it Plantfest. But to justify being a Palooza? Man, I was expecting a wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling amount of plants. I mean I thought there'd be so many plants that you couldn't get a park because of all the geraniums. Traffic chaos caused by an overflowing amount of tibouchinas. Hardly any space to walk thanks to hundreds of hakea. I planned to leave with so many plants that they would fill a 2016 Hyundai iMax automatic turbo diesel with lift door and we'd have to walk home behind it.

Instead, we got all the traffic chaos and lack of parking... But with the equivalent of maybe a Plant Fete. At a small public school with bad funding and disorganised P&C. And it cost us $2 each for entry.

Seriously what the hell was that?

What it did have was 11ty billion varieties of food trucks selling over priced goods made with questionable food safety standards. Like standard size pies for $19, or a coffee for $9. And some kid doing karaoke. And a dude selling leather belts. But bugger all bloody plants.

I'm honestly tempted to start a class action lawsuit. We need some sort of advertising standards. You don't get to label 3 stalls of plants a Palooza goddamnit. I've seen Bunnings with more greenery, and their artisan home made sausages on bread aren't $23 either.

Anyway, we blew that popsicle stand and went to a local nursery instead.

10 minutes down the road, opens at a reasonable time for a weekend (9:00am), no trouble parking, and a bigger selection of plants. Didn't have to pay $2 to go in either.

Did end up paying $400 to leave though lol 😬