Nobody should be drafted and forced to fight
I would definitely prefer a situation where nobody is forcibly drafted or pressured to sign up for fighting.
it seems clear to me that there is/was some genuine support for it... Whether it’s 40%, 60%, 80%, whatever, I don’t have enough evidence to determine
There might well have been some legitimate support for certain regions of Ukraine to join Russia. I don't think that gives Russia the right to start invading Ukraine though. I don't think Russia would be happy if a country where to invade Russia to "liberate" Chechnya, a region which tried to become independent from Russia. The Russian government claims to care about the will of the people when some people are allegedly wanting to join Russia, but it clearly doesn't care about the will of the people in other cases.
Anyway, I hope the Ukrainian people can determine their own future, whether that's being close to Russia, or close to the EU, or neither, or splitting the country, or whatever. Also I think they should have the right to join NATO if they wish, regardless of what Russia wants. Would Russia willingly accept it if the US said to Russia "you can't join a military alliance"? Russia would surely not tolerate being lectured by the US.