Unless you're in a restaurant, where they live in opposite land for some reason

as a linguistics graduate, that doesn't make sense

Please stop posting this as an authority saying it’s valid. It’s an internet discussion with a robust debate about whether it’s valid or ambiguous, which means it’s ambiguous. The only valid conclusion here is that while one might have their own convention on this, it’s not universal and this should be phrased another way. “Replace meat with beans,” for example.