They aren't contradictory if a drastically small portion of men are doing a hell of a lot of sexual violence.

That said, point 5 should be "most men do not believe/know any men they know are rapists". That can take many forms, such as not knowing their work buddy's personal life, thinking serious offenses are less serious than they are, not seeing any warning signs, choosing not to see warning signs, not recognizing warning signs…

Most rapists seem to not be telling the guys that they're raping people (though I'm a chick so idk), they're keeping quiet, hiding it, reframing it, etc. And most men aren't shown/don't learn the signs that a guy is predatory, in something I think can be compared to how people raised with a narcissist in the household can sense it, while those who weren't may not be able to see through the charming mask.

Victims and perpetrators aren't 1-1. Sexual violence isn't distributed normally - minority of men commit a majority of the sexual assault.

Knowledge of that perpetrator is spread through the network of every woman they victimize, while it is limited to his own personal network of male non-victims.

This is before considering the fact that people are more likely to discuss being a victim than being a rapist. Even if each rapist had exactly 1 victim, it would still be more likely for women to know someone who was raped than for the male acquaintances of the perpetrator to know that they know a rapist. Doubly so given that many rapes are not officially reported, and many that are do not get prosecuted.

I have many uncles and male cousins. I don't think any of them are rapists, but the stats are pretty decent at least one is. All of my aunts have stories of perverse behavior by males, and one was kidnapped and raped repeatedly.

Distribution of male rapists also can't be assumed to be uniform. So clusters will create spaces where significantly fewer men know a male rapist, which will skew the median significantly.

You wouldn't know if any of your friends is a rapist. It's not like they would tell you.

Edit: Even in the case of these guys, my other comment still applies.

Most of them genuinely believe it, too. Everyone knows rape is evil, and everyone thinks that they're a good person, and since good people don't do evil things, they can't be rapists. They'll do all kinds of mental gymnastics to avoid critically examining whether any of the sex they've had was actually rape. She was asking for it, he couldn't help himself, she didn't say no, she was into it at first, she was leading him on, she just wants attention. These guys will come up with any excuse that keeps them the "good guys."

They knew that their friends were having sex with a woman, and failed to critically examine whether that sex was in fact rape because the idea that their friends might be rapists never crossed their mind. We all need to be aware that we are capable of doing evil things.