Terra Nil comes to mind. But I understand the broad argument and would like to add to it. I think you are right on why destruction is very popular in games, but I think there is another reason for it. My thoughts are as follows: I think there are two types of violence you described. Violence as in physical violence, combat, war. And Violence as in destruction of nature to achieve non-combat driven goals, as in the removal of trees to build a house and occupy/urbanise space. The first is avoidable, the latter -in my opinion- is not. All live changes their habitat. Whether it's a predator killing prey, a beaver building a damn, or humans building a house. This is why I believe destruction is pretty common in games, it is rarely reflected upon and fully accepted as necessity.
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