▲ 321 ▼ C shark shark (lemmy.zip) submitted 1 month ago by shark_byte@lemmy.zip to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev 36 comments fedilink hide all child comments
[–] rem26_art@fedia.io 77 points 1 month ago (8 children) 🦈🦈 That code is basically self-documenting. Its flawless 🦈🦈 permalink fedilink source hideshow 8 child comments replies: [–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 35 points 1 month ago (7 children) At the last place I worked, I asked for any existing documentation on someone's project and they gave me a dirty look and said "the code is self documenting". No motherfucker it wasn't and it isn't. Get that fuck ass attitude out of here like "my code is so good I don't need to document it" permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 7 child comments replies: [–] Whelks_chance@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (6 children) If I document it it's easier to replace me permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 14 points 1 month ago I mean I get the attitude and the likelihood it's all a joke, but let me just say it's easy to replace everyone, even fucking CEOs. There are so many people out there that worry about how easy or hard it is to replace someone. The thing is, they often don't think that hard about it, and a software developer leaves and a new one comes in with hopefully some semblance of the same skills that were required. You start to think stuff like, "lol when I'm gone they'll never fix Project X, it'll break in a week or two". Well... Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. But maybe if it does, no one notices. Maybe even the customers don't fucking notice. Maybe it is just one constant thing people thought "degraded" about the product, but they still pay for it. And if they pay for it, everyone gets their paycheck and no one cares. And also if you're the type to work on shit that no one else can touch or understand, you are literally in the crosshairs. Other devs probably don't talk to you as much because they're like "god I can't wait until he leaves so I can rip out all his shitty code". They will destroy your Project X. They will solve the same problems over again. They will do it in some ways better than you did, and in some ways worse than you did. They will not have bugs you had and didn't know about. They will have all types of new bugs. They will have bugs you found and fixed a year ago, and they'll struggle less or more, or just ignore it. And then they'll leave and the cycle fucking repeats, and the other dev says "oh I can't wait to rip out Project Y, fuck that shitty code base". Every dev thinks he's super smart and special, and you all are as replaceable as the next fuck, because it's all about whether the customer pays money at the end of the day, not about how good your code is or how charismatic your CEO is. I've seen CEOs come and go and no one cared. permalink fedilink source parent [–] definitemaybe@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago Reported. Personal attacks aren't allowed. permalink fedilink source parent [–] toynbee@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children) You have effectively summarized an old Dilbert comic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] 4am@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (1 child) At least Scott Adams hasn’t said anything profoundly racist in a while. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 month ago Him and Kirk have really turned a new leaf permalink fedilink source parent [–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 point 1 month ago Just riddle it with booby-traps that are set to go off after your next planned update if you don't manually change the deadline and kick the can down the road with each update permalink fedilink source parent
[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 35 points 1 month ago (7 children) At the last place I worked, I asked for any existing documentation on someone's project and they gave me a dirty look and said "the code is self documenting". No motherfucker it wasn't and it isn't. Get that fuck ass attitude out of here like "my code is so good I don't need to document it" permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 7 child comments replies: [–] Whelks_chance@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (6 children) If I document it it's easier to replace me permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 14 points 1 month ago I mean I get the attitude and the likelihood it's all a joke, but let me just say it's easy to replace everyone, even fucking CEOs. There are so many people out there that worry about how easy or hard it is to replace someone. The thing is, they often don't think that hard about it, and a software developer leaves and a new one comes in with hopefully some semblance of the same skills that were required. You start to think stuff like, "lol when I'm gone they'll never fix Project X, it'll break in a week or two". Well... Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. But maybe if it does, no one notices. Maybe even the customers don't fucking notice. Maybe it is just one constant thing people thought "degraded" about the product, but they still pay for it. And if they pay for it, everyone gets their paycheck and no one cares. And also if you're the type to work on shit that no one else can touch or understand, you are literally in the crosshairs. Other devs probably don't talk to you as much because they're like "god I can't wait until he leaves so I can rip out all his shitty code". They will destroy your Project X. They will solve the same problems over again. They will do it in some ways better than you did, and in some ways worse than you did. They will not have bugs you had and didn't know about. They will have all types of new bugs. They will have bugs you found and fixed a year ago, and they'll struggle less or more, or just ignore it. And then they'll leave and the cycle fucking repeats, and the other dev says "oh I can't wait to rip out Project Y, fuck that shitty code base". Every dev thinks he's super smart and special, and you all are as replaceable as the next fuck, because it's all about whether the customer pays money at the end of the day, not about how good your code is or how charismatic your CEO is. I've seen CEOs come and go and no one cared. permalink fedilink source parent [–] definitemaybe@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago Reported. Personal attacks aren't allowed. permalink fedilink source parent [–] toynbee@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children) You have effectively summarized an old Dilbert comic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] 4am@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (1 child) At least Scott Adams hasn’t said anything profoundly racist in a while. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 month ago Him and Kirk have really turned a new leaf permalink fedilink source parent [–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 point 1 month ago Just riddle it with booby-traps that are set to go off after your next planned update if you don't manually change the deadline and kick the can down the road with each update permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Whelks_chance@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (6 children) If I document it it's easier to replace me permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 14 points 1 month ago I mean I get the attitude and the likelihood it's all a joke, but let me just say it's easy to replace everyone, even fucking CEOs. There are so many people out there that worry about how easy or hard it is to replace someone. The thing is, they often don't think that hard about it, and a software developer leaves and a new one comes in with hopefully some semblance of the same skills that were required. You start to think stuff like, "lol when I'm gone they'll never fix Project X, it'll break in a week or two". Well... Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. But maybe if it does, no one notices. Maybe even the customers don't fucking notice. Maybe it is just one constant thing people thought "degraded" about the product, but they still pay for it. And if they pay for it, everyone gets their paycheck and no one cares. And also if you're the type to work on shit that no one else can touch or understand, you are literally in the crosshairs. Other devs probably don't talk to you as much because they're like "god I can't wait until he leaves so I can rip out all his shitty code". They will destroy your Project X. They will solve the same problems over again. They will do it in some ways better than you did, and in some ways worse than you did. They will not have bugs you had and didn't know about. They will have all types of new bugs. They will have bugs you found and fixed a year ago, and they'll struggle less or more, or just ignore it. And then they'll leave and the cycle fucking repeats, and the other dev says "oh I can't wait to rip out Project Y, fuck that shitty code base". Every dev thinks he's super smart and special, and you all are as replaceable as the next fuck, because it's all about whether the customer pays money at the end of the day, not about how good your code is or how charismatic your CEO is. I've seen CEOs come and go and no one cared. permalink fedilink source parent [–] definitemaybe@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago Reported. Personal attacks aren't allowed. permalink fedilink source parent [–] toynbee@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children) You have effectively summarized an old Dilbert comic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] 4am@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (1 child) At least Scott Adams hasn’t said anything profoundly racist in a while. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 month ago Him and Kirk have really turned a new leaf permalink fedilink source parent [–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 point 1 month ago Just riddle it with booby-traps that are set to go off after your next planned update if you don't manually change the deadline and kick the can down the road with each update permalink fedilink source parent
[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 14 points 1 month ago I mean I get the attitude and the likelihood it's all a joke, but let me just say it's easy to replace everyone, even fucking CEOs. There are so many people out there that worry about how easy or hard it is to replace someone. The thing is, they often don't think that hard about it, and a software developer leaves and a new one comes in with hopefully some semblance of the same skills that were required. You start to think stuff like, "lol when I'm gone they'll never fix Project X, it'll break in a week or two". Well... Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. But maybe if it does, no one notices. Maybe even the customers don't fucking notice. Maybe it is just one constant thing people thought "degraded" about the product, but they still pay for it. And if they pay for it, everyone gets their paycheck and no one cares. And also if you're the type to work on shit that no one else can touch or understand, you are literally in the crosshairs. Other devs probably don't talk to you as much because they're like "god I can't wait until he leaves so I can rip out all his shitty code". They will destroy your Project X. They will solve the same problems over again. They will do it in some ways better than you did, and in some ways worse than you did. They will not have bugs you had and didn't know about. They will have all types of new bugs. They will have bugs you found and fixed a year ago, and they'll struggle less or more, or just ignore it. And then they'll leave and the cycle fucking repeats, and the other dev says "oh I can't wait to rip out Project Y, fuck that shitty code base". Every dev thinks he's super smart and special, and you all are as replaceable as the next fuck, because it's all about whether the customer pays money at the end of the day, not about how good your code is or how charismatic your CEO is. I've seen CEOs come and go and no one cared. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] definitemaybe@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago Reported. Personal attacks aren't allowed. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] toynbee@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children) You have effectively summarized an old Dilbert comic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] 4am@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (1 child) At least Scott Adams hasn’t said anything profoundly racist in a while. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 month ago Him and Kirk have really turned a new leaf permalink fedilink source parent
[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (1 child) At least Scott Adams hasn’t said anything profoundly racist in a while. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 month ago Him and Kirk have really turned a new leaf permalink fedilink source parent
[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 month ago Him and Kirk have really turned a new leaf permalink fedilink source parent
[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 point 1 month ago Just riddle it with booby-traps that are set to go off after your next planned update if you don't manually change the deadline and kick the can down the road with each update permalink fedilink source parent