You are totally misjudging this! Honestly you are probably just thinking about the absolute nightmare of manually configuring every single little thing like SMTP and SPF back in the day which was a massive headache. But that is not how it works anymore. I have been self hosting my email for over ten years using mail in a box and it is basically zero maintenance once it is up and running. These modern stacks use abstraction layers to handle all the annoying stuff so you do not have to be a full time sysadmin just to get through the day. It is not some impossible task where you are stuck with Tuta or Proton because you can definitely escape those silos if you use the right stack instead of trying to build every single layer from scratch.