Elon Musk told ex-girlfriend he needed ‘a legion of children before the civil war’
(www.theguardian.com)
Elon Musk is such an incel it hurts to comprehend.
I'll tell you the same thing I tell my closest friend who was also abused as a child and continues to struggle with it to this day.
You had a shit childhood. We all get it. It sucks and it shouldn't have happened and it shouldn't happen to any child but it does and it sucks and the world sucks for letting it happen. But it happened in the past. You can't continue letting the past control your present and your future. You have to take accountability for yourself and your own actions.
My father did the same thing as yours which is very common for his generation and specifically British men. Come home. Plop on couch. Watch TV. I played Lego on the carpet and watched what my father watched. That in and of itself was not child abuse.
This is why you're getting negative votes and responses.
If you have access to it, please consider therapy.