I feel I need to begin by telling you that you do not understand what an incel is, if this behavior doesn't tick any boxes. Tertiary and quaternary sources offered you an incomplete picture, to the point that I don't know where to offer information. You will have to ask questions to fill in your blanks.

Lolcow is a slur?? I didn't perceive it that way, which is where the misunderstanding began. I can absolutely see how you'd take what I wrote differently based upon that distinction, and I'll avoid using the term in that way in the future. I appreciate you clarifying that for me. To me, it was the same as shorthand describing them as maladaptive and easily baited, as that was the contemporaneous definition. I'm not going to excuse it, that was my mistake.

I don't believe it would be productive to speak on anything in your last two paragraphs, as there are clearly misunderstandings, whether you recognize them or not.