Well, no. I don't have the certification to be a therapist, and I sure as hell ain't paying the money and putting in the time and effort for a job that pays jack shit.

But if you identify with the above image, my advice to you would be to stop trying and just show up. Just get online - go to Facebook and Instagram and meetup.com, and start searching for clubs, groups, meetups, and events happening in your area. Just scroll through literally everything, and if you think "hmm, maybe I'd like that" or just "I don't know if I'd like that", then put it on your calendar and show up. (Note: I would avoid any groups specifically about mental health or personal development, as they tend to be Scientology fronts). Literally all you have to do is walk in the door. No matter what, just walk in the door. From there, you can do whatever you want. You can just leave. You can find the group and introduce yourself. You can sit quietly and not talk to anyone the whole time. You can vomit your whole life story and history of trauma to everyone there. It literally doesn't matter. Afterwards, if you think to yourself "I liked that, and would like to do it again", then show up again. If not, get on FB/IG/meetup/whatever again and go to a different thing. Do this again and again and again. And again and again and again. Build up a calendar of events where 5 to 7 days per week, you are showing up to a group of people, in real life, where you are going to do something that you can reasonably expect to enjoy.

Basically without trying, the people in these groups will get to know you, and they will probably like you. If they end up not liking you, that is okay too - the group is just not a good fit for you. Go start exploring again until you find a group that is a good fit for you. The more people you talk to and interact with, the more you'll find that people are generally nice and want to know you. This will decrease your neediness, which will make people like you more. By just showing up and not trying, you will gradually build deeper relationships with the people you meet, and eventually some of them will naturally become good friends.

If you find that you show up and don't know what to say, here is a hack. Just go in with an autistic level of honesty. Don't try to be smooth or cool or likeable. Just walk up to someone and say "hi, I'm x. I'm here for the thing." Or "I'm feeling nervous because I'm meeting a new group of people". Or "I wanted to make new friends, so I just randomly showed up here to see if you guys are cool."

Literally, that's it. Show up. Vomit out whatever is in your head. Repeat. Just keep doing this, and you will make friends.