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Peak Internet Culture (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[–] 20 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Recently there was a rumor spreading around my work that the earth was about to lose gravity for seven seconds and they should stay home to be safe.

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  • [–] 9 points 3 months ago* (1 child)

    No, no. It’s absolutely true.

    Scientists have known for years that the Earth’s gravitational field is remarkably stable, except when I fart.

    At precisely 8:47 PM, I unleashed a fart of such extraordinary magnitude that NASA immediately detected a gravitational anomaly.

    For exactly seven seconds, gravity simply gave up.

    Cars floated. Birds were suddenly extremely confused. Somewhere in Ohio, a man watched his refrigerator slowly drift toward the ceiling.

    NASA scrambled to identify the source.

    “Where is this coming from?”

    The technician checked the instruments.

    “Sir… Georgia.”

    A long silence followed.

    “Dear God.”

    At exactly seven seconds, gravity returned.

    Scientists are now studying the event.

    I have been asked not to fart again.

    I have declined to comment.

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