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King ๐Ÿ‘‘ (discuss.online)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works
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[โ€“] 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Again, that misses my point. Victims do not owe random people an explanation of how they handled things, and requesting an explanation in response to someone sharing a harm they endured is unhelpful. That is not an indictment of you or your character, it's just important to me that people be able to express they were harmed without being subjected to questioning for it

Your second use of "him" implies we may be reading the comment differently. If I am understanding correctly they are a woman who was abused by a male superior at work.

Regardless, people do not owe the world perfect victimhood, and whether we treat someone's statement of harm with compassion should not be predicated on an evaluation of whether they "did things right" in the wake of the abuses they suffered.

Its a vulnerable thing to say you were harmed. Let's not interogate whether they performed victimhood correctly, and they dont owe us any details one way or another. It minimizes an expression of abuse that is generally not listened to in the first place.

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  • [โ€“] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 child)

    Thank you for writing this <3

    Thought I'd confirm my gender is male and always has been. That was why my high school didn't intervene or even provide support to me when they knew I was living with my older boyfriend.

    I believe that that was why his colleagues at work didn't think too hard about his email to the team saying he's off to pick up his boyfriend from high school. Or when I was given alcohol while underage when he brought me to company parties. (the same company I worked at years later and he harassed me at btw)

    Apparently, being gay created a kind of shield of deniability, awkwardness and fear that people just didn't want to deal with. If someone else comes forward and sets things in motion, I will put my hand up to testify. But I'm not going to drag myself through the mud just to re-live all that trauma in hope it may lead to something.

    Last thing I'll say is this. I came from a conservative family, I believe that my family household primed me for exploitation in a number of ways. Low self worth. Lack of agency. Lack of awareness of the world. Even before I moved out, I felt safer in bed with strangers than in the one my parents gave me.

    It's my firm believe that if I'd had parents who accepted me, or at least cared enough to truly look out for me, I wouldn't have been abused for so many years.

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  • [โ€“] 2 points 3 months ago*

    ๐Ÿซ‚

    I'm very glad it was appreciated. I try really hard to engage with people in a way that makes them feel respected, especially when it is around someone choosing to be vulnerable.

    That is horrific. And yeah, I can absolutely see how that set of starting circumstances in life would make it so much harder to avoid exploitation and abuse. It is such a cruel reality that persistent mistreatment in your early life makes you much more vulnerable to further abuse later on.

    I'm sending love. I hope you find the peace, joy, love, and healing in life that every person deserves.

    Take care kablez, I hope you have a lovely day :)

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