The concept of rape being possible between people who are married is new to Abrahamic and Greco-Roman culture. Historically, rape is a crime against a patriarch a woman belongs to. It being possible to rape one's wife or slaves was considered nonsense in the western world until quite recently.
And while raping women that belonged to enemies was recognized as such, it was generally considered a good thing, such as the Rape of Sabine Virgins, the Iliad (Achilles is mad because Menelaos is selfish about the rape loot table), Viking raids, etc.
There is no time in Mediterranean/European written history where the majority position is that physically abusing your wife until she has sex with you is bad until the 20th century.