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[–] 25 points 3 months ago (1 child)

This definitely sounds like vaginismus from the body of the post and from the comments.

What helped my spouse was dialators. We went to an adult store for ours so we could talk with a clerk about what we got, but Amazon and a million other places have them as well. Kits come with various sizes, and you'll start small and work your way up. That and weed for relaxation.

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