That's not normal, go see a gynecologist.

It may end up being normal for you, but get a doctor's perspective - they can rule out dysfunction or identify what's causing pain and may be able to help.

You’re not “making a big deal” — what’s happening to you is real — is also real that this doesn’t happen to everyone. What you’re feeling is not universal.

You may be dealing with vaginismus, which is a condition where the vaginal muscles involuntarily tense up in anticipation of insertion. It can make sex (or any other kinds of insertion, like tampons or pelvic exams) extremely painful, because you’re stretching the tensed muscles the same way a muscle cramp would.

It’s largely considered a psychological condition, because it is typically based on anxiety surrounding the insertion. And that anxiety can quickly become self-perpetuating, as pain from insertion will likely cause future anxiety. Therapy (and practice) can help alleviate that anxiety, which can alleviate the tensed muscles, which alleviates the pain.

I obviously don’t want to try to diagnose you over a simple Reddit comment. But it may be worth looking into, because that much pain during insertion isn’t normal. And it’s possible that previous doctors have simply brushed you off, because many doctors don’t tend to take women’s pain seriously.

Have you tried using a set of medical dilators?