I hate my coworkers so much I want to suck all their dicks. I'm not gay, but damn, I feel like the only relief I can get is if they relieve themselves... in my mouth. And my throat. And maybe my butt... but I need to get these stress related hemorrhoids checked first. Shit, I forgot, I don't have healthcare. Now I have to suck some nurse dick. It's gonna be a long weekend. Maybe if I get everyone together in the same room we can get it all over at once. Just... not in my eyes, please.