I acknowledge that societal dating pressures exist. That being said, claiming that individual preferences are illusionary trivializes individual preferences altogether. Whether or not the preferences comes from a societal pressure, doesn't mean its invalid. If anything, believing otherwise can be dangerous. For instance, if a woman doesn't wants kids, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Claiming that they're wrong because there's a biological desire for humans to reproduce would be obnoxious.

That's all to highlight that others individual preferences should be respected. This includes both monogamous and non-monogamous preferences.

As for the comparison between fighting and romance I made, it wasn't to claim that these two things are similar in substance, rather I was saying they're similar in origin.