Found this post thanks to @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe who posted it three years ago on her old timeline. Somebody boosted it on mine today and I knew I had to post it here.
See "Rule 1: Women only...
Trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women’s community is a good fit for them."
If I try to look pretty, I sometimes get compliments, but sometimes get misgendered anyway. If I just decide not to care about my appearance, I'm only slightly more likely to get misgendered, and weirdly, sometimes I get compliments for things I never would have anticipated despite feeling gross.
I have no control over how others perceive me. It's honestly a roll of the dice whether people are nice, apathetic, or hostile. Chaos. I've learned whatever amount of effort I decide to look on a particular day, I just do it for myself.