First of all, games didn't require updating when I was a teen (I'm 32).

Secondly, the parents always had a huge long list of chores they'd been saving up for just a day like that. They enjoyed my suffering. (I do not mean this sarcastically, they were abusive lol)

I achieved the top part of the meme in my 30s. All my friends game, I have a loving fiance who also games, and I have two dogs and a cat on my lap while I game. The dream is alive and real. Fuck being a teenager.