We have instincts for a reason. I applaud you for trusting yours.

I have no idea what that reason is in this case, of course.

Just passing along the advice that your mind often knows more than your consciousness can express. We are uniquely good at rationalizing our way out of living according to what our needs are (see also: capitalism) and culturally we undervalue trusting our gut instincts when making decisions. Today, your gut instincts asserted themselves. You are wise to listen, explore, and fully understand what you think and feel before you recommit to this -- if you do.

It is your body, your mind, and your life. You get to define it -- and that means all of you. Mind, body, subconscious, and everything else. And whichever way that ends up in the end, it'll deserve a celebration that you found your way there.

Let time help.