Here in the UK we get a bunch of stats every game, but its pretty much the same stats every time with no fuckery. Shots on target (that would have gone in if it wasnt for that pesky keeper) and stuff.

Sorry, what I said was an exaggeration, but yeah keeping track of shots on goal, passes, etc are just basic parts of the game. Essentially the same as keeping score. Americans don’t do that. They literally keep track of exactly stuff like the xkcd shows. It’s not even an exaggeration.