I know it’s hard, but do your best to stay no-contact. One of the effects of abuse and trauma is the hyper vigilance you described. This includes “seeing them everywhere” in situations you might previously never noticed or thought about.

Abusive people, toxic people, negative people are not merely not worth your time, they are dangerous. That danger often comes in subtle, insidious, non-obvious ways. The easiest way to move forward is to find better friends to forge bonds with. That sounds scary and difficult, maybe impossible, but it can it can be easy and fun. First, decide on a few things that interest you. It could be pilates, board games, fishing, anything. Next, start looking for some local groups, clubs, or events and start going to them.

You may also want to look for emotional abuse recovery groups. While I generally avoid anything religion-affiliated, even those can be better than nothing. The point is to make supportive connections with other people, and that is the most important thing dor you right now.

You are not alone.
You are valuable.
You are cherished.

Find your people. You can message me if you need to talk. I’m here for you.