There's a lot to unpack here and I don't feel qualified enough to help you with that.

The fact that he feels "disgusted" by genitals and doesn't think about attraction at all, I think, clearly points to the Ace spectrum. When you talked to him about it, did you tell him what you've written here?

I will never leave him, I love him, he's so good to me. I'll take a dead bedroom to stay with my best friend, but...

You told us that he suffers from severe anxiety. Maybe he doesn't want to explore the idea because he feels it might negatively impact your relationship, maybe even lose you. But this isn't about you deciding if he's worth it or not, nor is it about you trying to "fix him", but finding ways to make the relationship work despite your differences.