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My dad refuses to talk to me because I bring up the past and am "bizarre," being schizoaffective and autistic (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago by to c/depression_now@lemmy.world
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My mom found out she had HIV when I was two months old. He has a new family now. Threw out his old one when I was thirteen. Kept me. Threw me away when I wasn't good enough. Apologized. Threw me away again.

×many years and cycles, through track, ROTC, college breakdown, and years of useless piece of shit after

I think I work WITH the CIA, or FBI, or Illuminati, or maybe the aliens put a bug in my head

It's GOD, obviously!

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[–] [S] -1 points 5 months ago

No one likes me, except maybe my life partner? Is he setting me up? Did the FBI do this for twelve+ years? I don't know. I'm alone in this archipelago of a world. You post for a friend in a friend place, you get a friend, eventually. I don't anymore. I used to be good enough for frens. Not anymore. I get liars. But I love my life partner. I think he loves me, too. That's where he's CIA and cute!

But this "bizarreness" of my art is what makes me "subhuman," I feel in response, to my father. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough.

There's no sad community. I gotta cone here for my life-long, debilitating, soul-crushing anathema.

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