He should have had some super cheesy one that said World’s Best Captain, maybe made by the kids on Captain Appreciation Day.

Or maybe a Garfield one that said “I Hate Mondays” and every time someone asked him about it, he would give this hearty but forced chuckle, and then explain how Garfield was an earth cartoon character from the 20th century, to some bored staff member who had already heard all about it multiple times, repeating “Yes sir. Very funny sir.”