Spent my 20's and half my 30's as a raging alcoholic pretending to be a chef who also survived on adderall, cocaine and cigs. Dont ever underestimate what the human biology is capable of handling. Dont cut yourself short, take ritalin so you can drink more. Then dr8nk more so you can take more ritalin. Rinse repeat and tell your shrink your mama didnt raise no pussies and that you want the good shit amphetamines from now on.
Or do the opposite of everything i did if you wanna live... idk healthy and long. 💁♂️