How did we end up talking about this again?

The meme was about male patterns of violence and I brought up how that's socially enforced, and how docile men get punished for non-conformity. Then someone called me an incel, so you brought up the incel-to-trans pipeline.

appreciate (is that the right word?)

Yeah, I know what you mean. I think it is a correct, although less common, use of the term.

but to read what a person goes through inside, mentally and emotionally, it's eye-opening, to say to least.

I wouldn't say I'm representative of the norm (if there even is a norm). Yeah, I know trans people aren't a monolith, but I spent so much time in isolation growing up that I don't think I'm representative of any norms.

I've had my own journey, and I guess everyone's journey is unique, even when they share some elements and parallels in common. But I don't really fit in anywhere. Even when I've tried mingling in queer spaces, people think I'm too straight-coded because my default "mask-on" behavior is basically comphet. I'm physically unable to remove that mask unless I feel comfortable enough, and I just don't warm up to people that fast. Especially when they seem to reject me from the get go.

So basically, I'm too queer to hang out with the straight people, yet I'm too straight to hang out with the queer people. Yeah, I have no friends.

what if there is nothing wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you. Society always tries to blame the individual, even when there's a large and easily identifiable pattern. "Pay no attention to the societal conditioning behind the curtain!"

Society is ill, and anyone who can't or won't conform to that illness gets labeled as deviant and ill.

I have just begun my journey towards trying to get help from my government, but thus far, I have only every been rejected and passed around. Now, I need a little breather to muster the strength to try again.

I hope you find a path forward to the life you envision for yourself and the treatment you need to achieve it. Just remember that you are who you are, even if others can't see it by looking at you, even if you don't even see it when you look in the mirror. The flesh is just a meat suit for the soul (or consciousness, rather, in more agnostic terms). And deep down, you are who you are, no matter how the vessel you inhabit happens to look.

Take that breather; take all the time you need. Live in authenticity whenever you can, and don't feel ashamed whenever you need to wear a mask to survive in this cruel world. They don't deserve to know the real you.