My smart thermostat already has a capability of letting the power company make adjustments as needed to stabilize the grid. Is it really so hard to imagine the same functionality for EV charging?

Sometimes override the thermostat, because my house needs to be comfortable for occupants. But I can plug in my EV when I get home, and it has 12 hours to charge. On a typical day it might need two hours and I have no reason to care as long as it completes by morning