When I told one of my friends the idea of owning a full family home was selfish, they were shocked until I put into the perspective of how many people can fit in a city and save on transportation cost for materials and work across the board. It was a nice relief for them to realize the point.
I think the real truth of it is that these people conveniently default to whatever gets them away from other people because people are always telling them how wrong they are for acting how they do. They want no consequences for hating with prejudice.