TheSambassador comments on me

[–] TheSambassador@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Except the vast majority of human interactions are either neutral or positive. If you approach life with the outlook that everyone is transactional, it's going to shape your behavior into an unlikable grump.

How does this cynical doomer shit get so much consistent up votes and echoes?

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[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago

Very few people are dedicated enough to seek Lemmy out. Most will stay on reddit. Or never got on reddit, and are on IG and Tiktok. The main thing that will drive them here is negativity - noticing everything wrong about the platform they are using.

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[–] archonet@lemy.lol -2 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

if the vast majority of your interactions with other people are neutral or positive, absent of transaction or cruelty, I'm very happy for you. genuinely. Unfortunately your personal experience, however, doesn't invalidate mine; nor does it invalidate the mountains of human awfulness throughout history and up into the present day that I could list off to prove my point -- keyword being 'could', here, as I'm not very interested in arguing, or in pissing on the parade you're apparently having. If nobody's pissed on yours, yet, why would I want to be the one to do so? so go, be happy, dismiss what I say as "cynical doomer shit" while you still have that fleeting luxury.

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[–] TheSambassador@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

I'm sorry that my comment was a bit dismissive and invalidating. I didn't really mean it to be, but I've been frustrated - I keep seeing this breed of misanthropy, and I understand why it's an easy explanation for why things are bad, but it feels very clear to me that misanthropes ignore the vast catalog of human experience and lifespan and cherry-pick the negatives. When you believe that everyone is generally shitty, it's easy to justify being generally shitty yourself (not saying that you are, just saying in general). You also then just start avoiding people in general, and every time you are forced to interact with people, you start looking for a way out.

I've honestly been there. I've been in that headspace. Any positive thing can be dulled by a "yeah but..." And then you look for ways to invalidate the positive things that did happen... calling them "transactional". You go into the hard emotionless philosophy of "well technically everything is transactional, even altruism doesn't really exist because your brain is making you feel good" and you feel RIGHT. Every terrible thing that happens you get to reinforce how RIGHT you are about the universe. The news is happy to feed you a torrent of terrible things that humans are doing, you avoid people most of the time so your chances of positive interactions are limited, and your worldview colors every interaction you have with people, so you either interpret or project negativity.

"If you look for the light, you will often find it, but if you look for the dark, that is all you will ever see

IDK, I guess I just want to challenge your perception a bit. It's very possible that this is just depression, because it was for me. A mix of life changes, changes in my mindset, and medication have led me to where I am now. The thing that clicked for me was noticing how much my negative mood could affect my perceptions of people, and how easy it was for that mood to feed on itself.

Sorry if this comes off as condescending. I just honestly believe that most humans have the capacity for great good, and it really is just about us believing in ourselves and each other. We also have a capacity for great evil, when we believe that that's how everyone else is. I have to push back on that.

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[–] archonet@lemy.lol 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

while I appreciate your effort, I do in fact remember a time when I was more naive and positive (~5+ years ago), and I also remember people being just as awful to me and to each other at that time, too; the only real difference being that I was frequently awful right back -- I just haven't got the energy for that anymore. If your point is that my attitude colors or affects my reality, that doesn't really hold water for me. the world around me hasn't changed that drastically in that time (if anything it's gotten slightly worse), I've just become more perceptive of it. And while sticking my head in the sand and pretending the world is a fine place full of fine people does sound like a wonderful delusion to entertain, it is just that. A delusion. While there are certainly some fine people in it, the vast majority of people are anywhere from unaware or indifferent, to actively making the world a worse place.