I'm in a similar boat; difficult circumstances with my life partner. I once thought I would pop into fame being a juggler and have a job being a cop, which is the magick God used on me to get me to do my spiritual work and heal. Now I'm a juggler, educator, and a skilled righter and I know I am where I need to be for the biggest picture across eternity; which is on a trajectory with a steep positive slope.

The Buddha said enlightenment is its own reward. You don't transcend physicality for the iddhi (magick), you do it because it is what you're most meant to do, to live your ideal life and be happy making others happy. Only you know what that is, so figure out an azimuth between where you are and where you are going and how fast you can travel, keeping in mind consistency is more important than moments of spontaneous word conjuring, though the most creative things we create do just fall out of our heads at times, which happens at a greater frequency the more you practice.

The best way to integrate the habit of casual free-form anything is to tie it with something you already do. I used to run track and cross-country, and when I was playing something like Paper Mario that had a "Pit of 100 Challenges" type dungeon, I would do a set of push-ups, or sit-ups, squats - just one "rep" per floor, whatever that is - and then do a big "set" at the treasure chest floors, which I would run around the block. I did this with juggling and writing, too, which directly benefited one another, being complements of creative activity.

It won't take too long before you will see something else you can do with what you're doing, and then you will merge those together, and doors start opening up. Share your art, and market it keeping in mind how attention works (a strategic typo alone can net thousands of views), and you will manifest something for yourself, which only you can determine.