It isn’t even a distraction from grief. It’s actually been complicating it and making everything more painful and stressful which is why I tried to handball this.

It’s also creating a lot of change, uncertainty and emotional rollercoasters right when I really don’t need that, and putting me in no-win situations where I can’t do anything to help.

I’m angry at the owners. I hope they take this cat to the vet. As he ages (already suspect arthritis) or if he gets too sick to ignore (already has cat flu and ringworm) it will eventually need to happen anyway and it’s going to be more traumatic if he’s not used to it.

And because he waits out front I’m going to risk reinfection every time I go out.

Yes. The horrors feel endless.