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You are beautiful, you just need someone who truly values you (files.catbox.moe)
submitted 7 months ago by to c/Couplememes@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 4 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Like many other mentioned, welcome to human psyche, where your PoV does not have to match the PoV of others. Some need awareness that external validation exists. Some need awareness that while it exists, it does not have to be more important than your own view. There is no cookie-cutter option, sadly.

Best case scenario is - teach a kid that their view is valid and true, while also pointing out that people have so varied tastes that she will always be considered attractive and we have no "hard" definition of beaty - it's all subjective, both within and without.

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  • [–] 0 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Some need awareness that external validation exists

    Hard disagree, external validation is not a fundamental need.

    Any perception that it is, is an internalized mental blocker (likely due to countless years of social conditioning)

    Your cage is made of out of sticks.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago* (2 children)

    Great. I know at the very least 3 people who survive only thanks to the external validation, because their own opinion about themselves is so low they need to rely on external one to feel any self worth whatsoever.

    So, tell me what to relay to them. And no "you are worthy" - cause that's external validation.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago (1 child)

    See my other post about how beauty can literally be found in anything, and how the practice of art is a lot like working out a muscle group. The act of finding beauty takes practice, its nothing to be ashamed about lacking as a practiced skill, but anyone can gain that skill by working at it.

    But once you can find beauty in anything, even an apple sitting on a plate, it does become easier to find beauty in anything else, including oneself.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    I hate that I have to agree but I can't find any hole here, at least tied to art itself. There are holes overall tho - not everybody has time, sense or will to pick up art. Art is hard and even harder it is to feel good about your art, as grasping the ideas that you're doing art for yourself and it does not need to be perfect may be hard. I know, I tried to drag a bunch of people into it.

    But I can see how art can be used to make seeing beauty in everything and honestly, good advice. Not universal, but thanks for giving me that ^^

    I still think that some people simply need external validation to perceive themselves not even attractive but normal, mostly due to low self esteem and them being in a state they hate (for example, being fat). Pointing out that a lot of their attractive traits like hair, eyes, smile etc. didn't change quite often helps them start seeing it themselves.

    I do not believe we should rely in external validation tho. Just that it can, and sometimes even is needed, to feel good about yourself.

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