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What to do with 4yo when we put down the cat? (fedia.io)
submitted 7 months ago by to c/parenting@lemmy.world
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I have a 14 year old Maine Coon that is terminally ill and has a few weeks at best. Our son recently turned 4 years old and loves animals. We taught him to be kind to all animals, even bugs. He is not particularly attached to the cat, but he likes it well enough (the cat is not a cuddler).

In a few weeks we'll have to go to the vet and have the cat put down. We're wondering how we should approach this with our son. Do we take him with us? Do we let him be present when the cat is put to sleep? Or make him stay in the waiting area? Or do we go when he's in school? What's appropriate for a 4 year old?

On the one hand I think that death is a part of life. And I don't mind that he sees us crying over the cat. But I also don't want to traumatize him or make it bigger than it is.

Any tips?

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[–] 3 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Because I assume you're asking in food faith: Because animals suffer more - medication is not as available for humans. In nature they would starve or fall prey to hunters. As pets we rather give them something to die painlessly than to starve them.

To be clear: It's literally "misery or death" - I hope you'll never get into this situation but seeing a beloved animal suffer through something like this.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago (2 children)

    I’m sorry but I guess I just don’t really believe that. Our animals all have significant health issues and if we hadn’t stuck with them they would have died years ago. I think our animals would rather be with us than be dead, even if they are sometimes in pain, and I think their attitude towards us shows that.

    I say this as someone who owns a lot of animals, and who has spent 20k on just our dog in the past year for health issues. A better way of asking this is, would you do the same for your child? A child that can’t talk, but they have a terminal disease. Sure there is a point where you remove life support, but you don’t ever actively kill them.

    A final point: you say “medication is not as available”. That will always be the case if people continue to not help their animals in these situations. The medicine will never advance and the costs of treatment will never come down.

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  • [–] 0 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Frankly I don't care if you believe it or not. I only honestly hope they none of your animals get to that point.

    It's not about a terminal disease it's about chronic suffering. And yes, for humans as well im arguing for medically assisted suicide.

    Your last point I don't get either l: How do you intent to help a German Shepherd with an infected hip who has a survival chance of 0% for an operation? How do you intent to "help" any being with an illness where no medication exist?

    You sound to me like the "just work harder" equivalent of health.

    You're full of strawmen to create a world that's just wrong because of the choices other humans make. Please allow a world that is just uncaring to all living beings - and some of us are confronted with that more than you apparently are. And no, I'm no longer talking about animals.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    Yeah I’m sorry but I already have animals at that point. Our dog has an illness with a 10-20% survival chance in surgery. We’re still deciding on surgery, because the rates have increased in the past few years due to people putting their dogs through surgery. She also has a severely damaged tendon that we went through one surgery on. This dog is the happiest in the world, it doesn’t matter if she’s going to live a shorter life if we don’t get surgery, do you honestly think that she would want to be killed for it?

    Think about it this way. If you had an infected hip with a 0% survival rate would you want your family to say you should be put down because of it? Or would you want to spend your time doing fun stuff or maybe going through the surgery to help out science? Dying for no reason is the worst option here. Medically assisted suicide isn’t what we’re talking about here, we’re talking about being killed without a choice in the matter.

    For someone claiming others are throwing out strawmen you sure are good at them.

    Please allow a world that is just uncaring to all living beings - and some of us are confronted with that more than you apparently are. And no, I'm no longer talking about animals.

    I have no clue what this sentence means.

    For context here though: I have a chronic condition, my mom died young from a chronic condition. My dog has two chronic conditions, both of my cats have chronic conditions, and my wife has a chronic condition. You are the one bringing suffering into this world by killing dogs that someone else would take care of until their natural death. You are removing happiness from this world and if you think for a second that your dog wants to be put down because of a hip then you do not understand dogs.

    I’m willing to bet you crate your animals and I bet you think breed is an indicator of violence too.

    I’m done with this conversation.

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