Let it be known, if it is too costly to shape my ashes into a spear and shoot it into the heart of the sun, or to build a statue of me Conan-posing on a throne of skulls surrounded by scantily-clad babes, just put me in a coffee can with some fireworks and light the fuse

There is a lesson here. Have these conversations today with your loved ones about final arrangements. I promise you that many of them would rather be buried in a casket from Costco and have the money spent on literally anything else.

This is especially true if they're going to be cremated.