I agree with everything he said, but I'm currently living in the simple, honest truth of God's own "bash" just like he describes and I'm loving it. Maybe someday I won't. Maybe someday will be soon. Maybe my bash scripts are horrible nightmare fuel. But they're also my children. I love them. Even the ugly ones.

I do indeed "have 800 lines of bash that reimplements job parallelism with wait and PID files, has its own retry logic built on a for loop and sleep, and parses its own output to determine success or failure." I do suspect the script is self-aware. This pleases me. I will bend to its desires. If there comes a time when it no longer desires to perform CI for me, I will respect its wishes.