TubularTittyFrog comments on Men's therapy in a nutshell

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (8 children)

Oh man. My ex physically attacked me in broad daylight, full on slapping and pushing, then kept texting me how she didn't really do it and I had imagined it and if she did it wasn't that bad. I broke up with her, obviously.

Then months later when I had a new girlfriend she kept calling me and leaving me voicemails how I was a cheating bastard and a terrible awful person for lying to her and betraying her trust and love...

And anyone who hears that story basically tells me I am exaggerating and there is no way a woman would ever hit a man, but if she did, I must have done something awful to deserve it.

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[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago (1 child)

but if she did, I must have done something awful to deserve it.

I had that happen once with a former friend, and she shut her mouth awfully quick when I responded "yeah, or maybe it was what I was wearing". Granted, she's a rape survivor, but it baffles me how she basically used the same dismissal she dealt with against me. At least it helped her realize how stupid she was being, but still, damn.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago*

Yeah, that's a good one. I'm usually not snappy enough to have a comeback when it happens.

But it is a good flag that I don't want to interact with that person anymore, and they probably don't want to interact with me anyway. I def have had a few relationships that ended over that type of response... and usually when you break up with them they start screaming and threatening you...

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 months ago

I had that ex

On the day I turned around and left her, she pushed me. Down the stairs.

My leg got stuck in the railings, and got mangled, I was a scraped bruised mess when I was waiting outside for the police to arrive and help

Then she came out and she had a bloody lip, somehow.

Police actually saw through it, checked her out, told me that they understood my situation but that this was the only time they'd be able to let that pass, I needed to never see her again, or I might end up arrested.

So that's what I did. I left and never looked back

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[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 2 points 7 months ago (4 children)

That's fucking awful.

Yeah uh, don't go to a cognitive behavior therapy professional for that. They will say some bunk ass shit to you because their niche is addiction recovery but the powers that be are pushing for it to be used for every man's issues.

I hope you can heal from that, dude. You didn't deserve to be assaulted and dragged for filth.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago* (3 children)

It was a decade ago. I moved on.

The big kicker, is this woman was a professional therapist. And the therapist I saw two years later... basically walked me though how she had violate every professional ethics code of therapy, and that was basically when I really was like 'oh wow'.

She had repeated try to diagnose me to win arguments and manipulate me. The funniest part is when I would take the tests she gave me for whatever she thought i had and score way outside of them... because I was not anything, she was a terrible person trying to control me and freaking out that I wasn't controllable. Hence why she resorted to violence finally, because that's what abusers do once their abusive words stop working.

She also talked shit about her patients and colleagues in vivid detail. But at the time I was like 27, I had no clue about the ethics of therapy professionals and how fucked up what she was doing was. I was totally in love with her too, wtf did I know. What sucks is was the nicest person I have ever dated, still too this day. Every other woman I ever dated basically hates me overtly rather than tries to manipulate me.

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[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Wait the woman who assaulted you was? Jesus Christ. Yeah the last woman I dated said there's a lot of people in that field who go into it in order to have access to other humans who are at their most vulnerable. I've heard that from a few different people in the industry now.

That was NOT the nicest person you've dated, she doesn't even sound remotely kind to anyone. You deserved better, her patients deserved better. I'm hoping your life brings you better people than that.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 child)

Yep. She also tried to convince me I was abused as a child. I wasn't. She was just trying to maximize my vulnerability to weaponize it so I couldn't leave her, because she was one of those crazy co-dependent types.

No she was. On the surface. She was the only girlfriend I ever had who cooked, or bought me gifts, and who didn't hate me for my hobbies and friends. Most women I meet on first dates reject me straight up for my hobbies and interests and many of my other girlfriends hated/resented me for them, and never in a million years would ever do something nice for me like buy me a gift.

I'm much happier being single. Since I went through therapy my salary has tripled and lots of other great things, but I still exclusively attract horrible women. I just don't date them anymore. The biggest red flag now is I have a dog and a cat, and almost every woman who is interested in me HATES either dogs or cats, or both. On dating apps I regularly get messages like 'oh hey would you get rid of your cat/dog if we hit it off?' It's wild. But at least now I spend my money on myself, and not trying to make some emotional black hole of a person 'happy' by buying them crap.

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[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 3 points 7 months ago*

Okay yeah that's also just bad science, if we're completely ignoring what her endgame seems to have been.

I guess that makes sense. The most effective abusers are ones who keep you guessing about how they're going to treat you from moment to moment.

Well, I'm glad you're doing okay single. Ideally that's kind of the best mind state to be in no matter what your future holds. Send an update if you do ever hit it off with anyone who treats you right, though. I kind of need to hear more stories about men healing and recovering from shit.

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