, but I actually like Debian’s slow update cycle,

That's one of debian's strengths and an often overlooked feature that I believe many people would love as well. I even had a professor migrating from windows to debian simply because he's, in his words: "tired of things changing all the time without my permission. I want a system that stays the same for as long as possible and barely changes". Debian was like a natural choice for him. I thought he would be asking me for help in the transition, but he said he's "ok and learning by searching on the internet", and that he's "investing some time on earning it, because the guarantee of minimal changes makes the it an investment, instead of a waste of time".